It’s only -11ºC downtown but it feels cold; a steady wind is blowing the slowly falling snowflakes into near-horizontal paths towards the ground. We’ve just walked back from Varsity Cinema on Bloor St, where we watched The Imitation Game. I’ve been reading the Alan Turing biography that inspired the new film while on the subway this week. I wore my scrubs under my down jacket and tried desperately not to sweat in the stuffy and crowded trains. I squeezed my husband’s hand tightly during most of the film, waiting for the axe to fall. Even though I haven’t finished the biography I know how the story goes: brilliant mathematician helps his country and society but because he’s different his country and society later crush him. I felt both inspired by finally finding a role model that I could relate to but gutted that the world is slow to change. Turing was given a posthumous royal pardon. What about the other 49 000 men?
It’s been 60 years since Turing was driven to suicide. Has enough changed since then? I was only able to marry my husband last year because I moved from Australia to Canada for two years. The arguments against our marriage based on farcical semantics. Every time I point out social inequity inevitably I get told to be thankful for how much better life is today than what it used to be. I don’t live in the past. I want a better future.
Cumberbatch’s performance and the editing of the film resonated with me, in a way very few films have. I am completely gutted now. Tomorrow I’ll probably return to watching videos of cats on the internet and have completely forgot how indebted and grateful I feel right now. Or I’ll be completely absorbed in completing the manuscript edits for one project, data collection for a second, and research meeting for a third. For tonight, I’ll just cling to the husband that I am privileged to be able to share my life with. If only others were allowed equal opportunity.