Day 617 Effing Snow: The 5 Steps of Buying Groceries in Winter

The novelty has worn off.  When you need to walk (admittedly only 2 blocks East) to the No Frills grocery store with a wheelie trolley to buy supplies for guests coming over tonight and it’s snowing sideways into your face it’s actually not mesmerising or magical.  It’s a bloody nuisance.

Step 1.  Getting dressed.

I chose some new undies.  Apparently it’s socially unacceptable to wear underwear for more than 24 hours, even though nobody sees it and it didn’t smell and yesterday’s clothes are right there, on the floor, ready to wear.  I then pulled my long johns on.  And then my jeans, a shirt, my bulky down jacket, gloves, ear muffs, hood and hopefully ethically sourced old age dead fur off possibly an animal (I honestly thought it would be synthetic).  We squished into the elevator.  I sometimes start walking next to the wrong person in the same puffy jacket when we walk down the street.

Step 2.  Cross the road.

In summer this is how you cross the road: look left, look right, realise it’s Canada and the traffic is on the wrong side of the road so look left and right again and left again and keep looking both ways is you sprint across the road hoping nobody hits you.  In winter this is how you cross the road: climb the mini Mt Everest snow bank that is half ice chunks, half brown slush and all frosted with fresh snow.  I can’t actually tell which bits are solid and which bits my entire leg will go right through.  Presuming you haven’t tripped over, into the traffic that snuck up on the left because that’s where cars come from, not the way I was looking, skate across the slippery road to clamber over the snow bank on the other side.

Step 3.  Look like an idiot trying to take a photo, from an arty low camera angle, but your hood keeps falling into your face and your fingers start to freeze out of the gloves. Give up.

Day 617 Expedition to No Frills.
Day 617 Expedition to No Frills.

Step 4. Shopping

Ricochet your bright yellow trolley around the aisles as you search for things impossible to find because the layout is different to Coles Maylands where I know where the jelly crystals are.  Find so many things you didn’t know you needed you end up with five bags as well as your trolley to take home.

Step 5.  Return

Try not to cry as you stagger back home trying to balance three grocery bags because your husband snaffled the wheelie shopping thing and is happily humming to himself 10 metres ahead.  If you cry the tears will freeze.

On the plus side I’ve put the jelly on the balcony.  It’s below zero outside so it should set in no time.

Day 617 Winter
Day 617 Winter

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