Our flight to leave Toronto was originally scheduled at 16:00. A few days ago it was rescheduled to 18:30. As we sat at the gate this afternoon, after a tearful goodbye with Julian outside and much tightly squeezed hugs, Dan’s cellphone rang and he made a face while listening: due to weather in Chicago our boarding would be delayed three hours. Boarding at 20:30.
What’s more painful than a weekend of goodbyes, leaving what has become our home, indefinitely? Saying goodbye then waiting at the gate for hours. Not actually leaving. Then, on tarmac, waiting a further hour as the plane was grounded again. Dan and I were holding hands, eyes watering as I scrolled through my Instagram photos from Sep to Dec last year; just a few months of our stay in Toronto and we’d travelled so much, so many good memories.
We were being strangled by grief because we couldn’t let go because we hadn’t even left! I watched one more Toronto sunset: from my window seat in a stuffy American Airlines plane just waiting to leave for a one-hour flight to Chicago. We could’ve walked. I listened to Portishead tracks, all my High School favourites. I wallowed in grief while we were still physically in Toronto.
At 22:10 we were finally airborne. Thank you Canada. It was awesome.
Moving on to Robin Skouteris remixes now. My journal tomorrow will be reset: Day 1 of The Rest of My Life.