Insomnia

I’ve struggled to fall asleep every night for the past two weeks.  It’s getting hotter; today was forecast as 39 degrees Celcius.  Consequently cycling from SCGH to BSWA this afternoon I quickly developed a dehydration headache that, coupled with having hit my shoulders hard at the gym today (those lat pull-downs)… I’ve had a migraine all evening.  A little pain is useful to increase my screen-reading accuracy and a cranky radiologist pays more attention to detail.  Distracting pain is not useful for my sensitivity or specificity.  I didn’t stay back tonight to read just one more board.

The WA Government announced yesterday, “An immediate sector wide external recruitment freeze that is to apply to all agencies and positions across the general government sector.” Dan was very concerned.  My current contract is a locum until the end of January.  A continuing 5-year contract was advertised for my position, for which I applied and have been interviewed for.  But as yet, the mysterious HR process that transmogrifies mountains of repeated bureaucratic paperwork, has yet to materialise into a contract.  And, as of yesterday, since I have not yet signed a new contract this leaves me to wonder, “Do I actually have a job come February?”  Government sector-wide freezes are a heavy axe to wield, and make the front page of the state’s newspaper.  I’m not sure how it works though that I’m working in the hospital and a needed role but can’t continue in that role  because my current locum contract expires and I’m not already “permanent” staff to be “seconded” or moved.  Even though I’ve already been to bed tonight I found myself unable to sleep as I contemplated how soon and where I should start looking for work. Absence of job security is a little stressful.

 

Maylands Train Station
Maylands Train Station

Christmas is in two days.  Daniel has established himself as the Organiser of Everything and In Charge of Everything Actually Useful For the Family.  I have been consulted, much as the President of the Universe in Douglas Adams’ Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: I’ve made no real decisions but have been given the opportunity to pretend that I had input.  Daniel is cooking Christmas lunch for everybody.  I will be delegated menial jobs, which will take me away from my repeated attempts and guilty relaxation (flaking out on the couch from lack of coffee while Dan does everything else, just like his Mum used to do).

This Christmas season I reflect that I too have become the character of my mother. Despite adequate communication about events and responsibilities I have remained blissfully ignorant of anything and pleasantly distracted by anything else that might have grasped my attention.  I think we may have a spa and some prawns and should probably wear bathers.  Do we need ice?  I don’t know.  It will all work out.  It always does.

Hopefully I can sleep soon.  Dogs are barking across the street.  A mosquito has bit vicious little welts across my right index finger, my headache and shoulder knots (why did I do so many lat pull-downs?) have dulled and I’m thinking sleepy thoughts.  From within the waves of stifling heat today cicadas chirped.  The sound they make was sharp, but the heat did not sting, as their chirps stung my ears.  The heat just quickly dehydrated and baked my skin.  I walked back inside from lunch bright pink, with everybody crying, “You’re burnt!”  “That’s impossible!  We were outside for only 10 minutes!”

All week I’ve been dreaming I’m stuck in elevators that won’t go up to the floor I need; mostly because they weren’t built far enough up the shaft, or because there was some other mechanical failure.  This is a new stereotyped dream for me: usually it’s waves of water threatening drowning when I’m overwhelmed or catching trains in the wrong direction or buses that meander around to nowhere when I’m not feeling in control of my life.  Now I just dream I need to go upstairs but the way their doesn’t exist.

Daniel still has my head cold from last fortnight.  I hope we are better by this weekend at least (Christmas events), if not next weekend (New Year’s Eve parties).  It’d suck to have to go to bed early!

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